My little angel (I'll just call her Motrin for now)

The joys of shopping, with kids, is well, not so joyful for me. There is nothing more relaxing than going to the stores with nobody in tow. I can look at what I want, hell I can peruse the candy aisle if I must! I don’t have to ask myself if I need to use the bathroom before key points in the trip (like checking out-never fails that after I pay, she has to go!). Then there’s the constant questions, mainly, “Can I have that pink bike?’ and the next most popular one, “I want the Dora soup, please?” Does she actually know how much the Dora soup costs? And not to mention the fact that her dad doesn’t like Dora because she, OMG, speaks a little Spanish. It’s just one of his many hangups, but I honestly can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught him watching a whole episode of “Go Diego, Go” while I was giving her a bath. He doesn’t even realize he’s watching it. Then there’s the trip to McDonald’s that we just have to do. The only saving grace there is that it’s a very tiny one and she entertains the whole place while I’m waiting for the food. I pretty much got away with the whole month of December shopping by myself, so I knew the kiddo was due to go on a shopping excursion with me. But I did not realize the whole Capital Region would be out shopping too.

It all started on the way into CVS. I have to admit, I was pretty rushed because of a looming snow storm coming in. I usually hit Walgreens and Rite Aid, but that wasn’t going to happen. Britney Spear’s song, “Womanizer” was just on in the car and as we’re walking in, she’s saying “womanizer” over and over, kind of like in the song. I’m telling her to not say it as this elderly woman is walking by. I cringe, but it is my fault since I don’t really edit what I listen around her. I guess I’m now just realizing how much she is actually picking up. I end up bribing her with some leftover Christmas candy on clearance. She followed me around the store throwing items into the cart and was even pretty good at the checkout. She’s in charge of the coupons, it’s her “big” job to give them to the cashier. I get out of CVS for five dollars and change for (4) All detergent, (4) Palmolive, (2) Colgate Kid’s toothpaste, (2) newspapers and a candy cane thingy. Not bad, gotta love those Extra Care Bucks.

Next is Price Chopper for meat. I love that store, but I hate the prices. They are way too high. Case in point, tonight with dinner we had salad and there were two Ken’s Blue Cheese dressings on the table. The 8oz one, from Price Chopper, was marked $1.79. The one I bought at Wal-Mart was marked $1.78 and it’s a 16oz. bottle. But I buy most of my meat there because I don’t trust the meat at Wal-Mart. I’m sure it’s all safe, but I’m a little leery. I’ll buy chicken there if I need to and I do buy the Perdue ground turkey there because it’s dirt cheap, but beef and pork, I do Price Chopper. As I’m passing through the produce section on the way to the meat counter, I noticed the nicest looking Bok Choy. So I grabbed one and then a butternut squash. Brenna is now sticking her nose up at the Bok Choy and she’s being very obnoxious about it. I pretend to ignore her like she’s not my child, although she is IN my cart. Damn, guess that’s not going to work. So I load up on some meat and then I waited more time in line to checkout. It took forever and I have to admit, she was an angel. She’s usually very fidgety by the time we get to the front of the store. So off to Mickey D’s we go and that goes pretty good too. Now to tackle Wal-Mart where the bulk of my shopping is done.

I tell her that she has to sit in the cart seat (the advantages of having a smaller 4 year old) because I have a job for her. She seems really interested until she finds out exactly what it is. I give her an envelope and I tell her that when I hand her coupons, she needs to put them into the envelope. Well, that was a lame job according to her, but she kept with it. Until the frozen food aisle (this is the aisle that she usually breaks out in songs to entertain everyone while I paw through my coupons). She gave up and almost, I swear, threw the whole envelope at me. I was actually going to get deli meat, but after that escapade, the line that was 10 people deep at the deli and my busting bladder, I made the decision to go back and get the pre-packaged stuff and then I made a critical mistake of going back down the cereal aisle that was packed with the slowest people around. Finally I’m up front and the lines are like 6 people deep. I’m not kidding. And my cart was so full that I could barely push it. And I had a kid on the verge of meltdown. I try to put myself in a positive mood, by damn, I just didn’t think it was going to happen.

And then my angel appeared. Her name was Shawna and she was just the sweetest little girl with normal parents to boot! Brenna and her talked and talked about nothing, but it was great! They would both be in kindergarten next year, not at the same schools. And her parents were friendly and easy to talk to. I think I waited in line for at least half an hour. And that little girl saved me from losing my mind. She was my Motrin at that moment in time. That moment in time where I get frustrated with the people in front of me. Like the two ladies in front of the lady who was in front of me. I want to make it clear that I have no problems with people getting public assistance, but I absolutely hate the fact that they unload half their cart to see what the total is and then they, inevitably, put back the produce, but hang onto those Twinkies. And it’s such a waste of time, I mean, get a freakin’ calculator to figure it out before you get to the register. And Shawna’s mom was very patient with me because I had over $60 in coupons, which saved me roughly 25% on my order. She said she understood because she’s a coupon user too. I’m not so sure everyone was happy with me, but oh well, I did my time in line just like everyone else.

And then on the way out I get: “Mom, I have to potty.” And as I walked by the restrooms, they were down for cleaning.

“You’re going to have to hold it kiddo.” And she did.